What It Really Means to Have a Horse Husband

Support, Partnership, and Life Beyond the Barn

My husband was recently interviewed on the Horses in the Morning podcast, where he was asked about being a horse husband.

Listening to the conversation made my heart squeeze. It was another quiet reminder of how lucky I am to have someone who supports my lifestyle — even when it occasionally comes with a raised eyebrow or two.

A lot of horse girls dream about having a horse husband. It’s easy to get wrapped up in wanting our partner to fall in love with the thing that lights us up. Horses are magic, after all, and when something has shaped your entire life, of course you want to share it.

But what if there’s another way?

What If Support Doesn’t Look Like Participation?

My horse husband has absolutely zero interest in riding. None. But he does have an interest in seeing me happy — and that counts for so much more.

He is beyond supportive, and I think my gratitude for that has created space where he gets to be involved on his terms, not mine. Because I’m not pressuring him to participate, it feels genuinely special when he chooses to come to the barn with me.

Instead of resentment on either side, it’s just… fun.
And he gets to discover a little bit of that horse magic on his own.

I think we horse girls sometimes forget that discovery is part of the magic. We want to gift our partners this incredible experience, but they can’t jump in where we are. It takes time to understand horses — and for those of us who have loved them our whole lives, we may not remember how long that process really is.

Does it ever actually end?

A Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

We’re lucky to have figured out what works for us, and talking with the podcast hosts after the show got me thinking more deeply about why it works. I think a lot of it comes down to mindset.

I sat down and did some writing to clarify my thoughts, and this is what I came up with:

Support doesn’t always mean you agree.
Support doesn’t mean you have to do it together.
Support doesn’t mean you have to like the same things.

Sometimes support simply means: I see you. I care about what matters to you. I’m here.

It's the takeout waiting for you at home so you could ride your horse after work. The morning latte delivered to the horse show where you were grooming all morning. The patient head nods as they listen to you talk about transitions or some other horsey thing they absolutely do not understand. Love shows up in little ways, and we have to remember to look for them.

Relationships, Horses, and the Same Core Lessons

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that building a relationship with a partner isn’t all that different from building a relationship with a horse.

I mess this part up — often. But I think the trying helps make me better for the people and the animals I love. Here are the reminders I want to keep close:

Reward the tries
Celebrate the small victories
Pay attention — not just when things are going wrong
Look for what lights them up
If something isn’t working, get curious instead of angry
Seek understanding, not control — there doesn’t need to be a winner and a loser
Set boundaries, but set them with kindness
Respect their boundaries; if you don’t understand them, get curious
Learn to manage your own negative emotions
Understand your shortcomings and plan around them
Take responsibility for your actions and your reactions
Make time for connection
Love them in little ways, consistently
Be someone worthy of their trust
Look for opportunities to express your gratitude

Gratitude, Always

This podcast conversation was never really about horses — or even about being a “horse husband.” It was about partnership. About patience. About choosing support that allows both people to be fully themselves.

And for that, I’m endlessly grateful.

🎧 You can listen to the full Horses in the Morning episode here:
https://player.captivate.fm/episode/9a60d2c2-1613-4aae-83a5-1e230ce90237